Some Other Beginning's End

(A minor gagging sound is made at the title of this post.)

Tomorrow is the day. I’m heading out for Madrid, Spain, and a life-changing experience. The bags are not all quite packed yet, but that will come in time, once I stop distracting myself with the computer. On the eve of every departure and new adventure, I dream some wondrous universe of possibilities, of whom I could be, what I could do, whom I could meet and impress. I did it before going away to college; now is no exception. It always seems so much more vague and glamorous in my head. The reality is decidedly more ambiguous because I meet people who are exceptionally more interesting than I could ever imagine, yet there are a lot of disappointments and setbacks and annoyances which are inconspicuously absent from my imaginary utopia. I don’t think I’m alone on this, dreaming of Edenic universes contained within the possibilities of opportunity – quite the contrary.

I took this last evening at home slowly by taking a walk with my mother and brother through the surrounding suburban neighborhoods. The night was darkening, and clouds brooded over the gargantuan mountain chains which shadow our valley. Savoring this last bit of home for seven months, I was surprised to realize I didn’t have many feelings on the subject, rather a dull emptiness. Tomorrow I’m going to Spain and will probably be shocked into feeling something, but that is far away from me right now. I cringe at putting forth this metaphor – I am an empty vessel waiting to be filled with experiences from abroad – but the part of my brain which filters out such constructions as that metaphor is not functioning at this hour.

Barring major disasters, I won’t be back in the States until Christmas. The world will continue to spin, and it will have gone halfway around the sun by the time I come back.

That’s enough for now. I can’t think of anything appropriate to say, other than that these next few months will be life-changing.