Things I've Learned so Far

I’m taking a page out of The Doctor’s blog and putting a post up about the things I have learned so far. I think every experience can be a valuable wellspring of knowledge, experience, joy, life, etc., gushy flowery words etc. In a less sarcastic sentence, I think that these things really are valuable for me to know, and that they add more to this experience which we call “Life.” I am hopeful that this list will be expanded later in the summer and in 2010.

• The Haribo gummy candy brand does not have an all-around high standard of quality gummies. Their Gold Gummy Bears might be fantastic and made with real fruit juice, but their Tropifrutti candy is like eating old gum injected with fluoride.

• Kinder Eggs aren’t really German. A Venezuelan told me they were American, but then Wikipedia said they were really from Italy. They are only wildly popular in Germany.

• Germans think that everything comes from their country. Although Germany is great for many reasons, and they do offer a lot of high-quality products and services (I will only accept food processors that were made in Germany when I get married), don’t buy into their propaganda too much.

• Olive oil really does make everything better. Except for your clothes. Everything must have at least one weakness.

• I hate ants.

• Ants are much, much better than cockroaches. (Mom, we don’t have cockroaches, I’m just trying to be positive about the ants.)

• Latin American men grow up knowing how to dance. They might not know how to dance well, but at least they can dance.

• There is always a way to get where you want to go. It might not be the cheapest, and it might not be the quickest, but you’ll get there eventually.

• If you’re not happy about something, speak up. You will be happier, and the other people probably won’t be much inconvenienced.

• No matter how much I try, I cannot bring the right-sized bag to any even or occasion. (I’m not going to generalize this to the rest of you.) If I go to work, my bag is too big. If I go out hiking, my bag is too small. If I go out dancing, I should bring no bag at all. May you have better luck with your bags than me.

• In Europe, bring your own hand towel and toilet paper to the bathroom. Some hand sanitizer would be a good idea, too.

• Never buy anything type of clothing that doesn’t immediately strike your fancy. It’s like an A-ha kind of moment. If you start singing “Take on Me,” that is a good sign. If the dulcet tones do not start to play in your head, use this other test: everything should make sense in the moment you see the item and you know you want to buy it. Using this formula, you should end up with a closet of things that you like and never use the edges of your closet for the things you don’t like. (Sweaters from Auntie Mame are an exception, hee hee.) I’ve been trying to use this formula for the past several years, and it doesn’t seem to work as well as I think it should. I don’t know why I told you to do this.

• It’s okay to live in a European country where you don’t know the language. You should probably know an additional language other than your mother tongue, though.

Just a few thoughts from Lizzle. I know some of these things are more specific than others. I’m thinking specifically of the Tropifrutti candies. I can’t help it; they’re sitting right next to me. Despite their terrible taste, I kept eating them. I think I need my stomach pumped now.