Estoy Cansada

I have less than a month left to go in my internship, and I’m tired.

I’m tired of trying to understand a language that I still don’t speak very well, of mosquitoes that bite me in the night, of jokes that I don’t get because they don’t have the right influx, of working and having the work that I do ripped apart. I’ve gotten used to the metro, I’ve gotten used to going to the local supermarkets, I’ve even gotten used to managing on just minimal food because – I admit it – can’t cook very well over here. I’m sick of feeling useless and superfluous. I hate feeling like I’m stupid, which is what this internship does to me a lot – however, it’s teaching me to have a tough skin in a way that school can’t teach.

I bought more stamps earlier today, and I went to my English bookstore yesterday. I’m happy with the three new books I have – Cymbeline, St. Mawr and the Man Who Died, and World Fall – but I’m not as excited as I was when I got the Colour of Magic (which I finished today) and The Book of Lost Things. You won’t be seeing any pictures of me peering over the tops of these books, although I’m really interested in the D.H. Lawrence St. Mawr and the Man Who Died.

I suppose that I can’t be happy and satisfied all the time, or energized and ready to take on all of my tasks. However, I can be optimistic – I can get a good night’s rest tonight, not stay up way too late perusing other blogs or working on this blog, and perusing the internet for good recipes I want to make. (I don't want to have another salami-ham-cheese sandwich for dinner, although they are quite heavenly on any other day.)

Being self-sufficient makes me feel good about myself. Doesn’t it?

"I Just Told You My Dreams" - Eddi