Lizzle's Edition of "How Tae Speak Scots"

This post is mostly dedicated to Trope Girl, who will be coming to Scotland this spring semester! I feel like I'm leaving her a legacy. However, I do want to provide some useful information for anyone and everyone traveling to Scotland. There's only so much the Craig Ferguson show can do to help, Americaners out there, so let me help for a moment. This is pretty short and not comprehensive, but my hope is to be mildly entertaining.

Amalgamation of Scottish words

"cannae" or "canna" - I still have trouble pronouncing this one. It's Scots for "can't".

"dinnae" or "dinna" - Also can't pronounce this. It's Scots for "didn't", and there's a huge part of me that thinks it also means "don't". I

"ken" - know. Ken what I mean, yo?

"peeing" - Used in normal context, but also used in description of "peeing cats and dogs" when there's heavy rain out.

"radge" - crazy person. I'm not sure if it's derogatory or not, so be careful with this one.

"mingin'" - your olfactory senses are offended, i.e. something stinks

"off" - something not right, usually spoiled/stinks

"gutted" - really, really sad/disappointed - like "I was gutted I didnae maek ur parrty"

"chip" - what Americans would call French fries. basically everything you know is wrong in Scotland (cue Weird Al refrain)

"crisp" - what Americans would call a potato chip

"chippy" - a place to get some fried haddock (fish) and chips. Edinburgh version: salt, malt vinegar, and brown sauce. It's delicious.

"Weedjie" - someone from Glasgow, shortened form of "Glaswegian"

"pissed" - drunk, often describes Weedjies

"wee" - little, among other connotations

Pronunciation


This is my favorite part of trying tae spaek Scots. I get it wrong all the time, although I would mimic a few of my friends from the YSA all the time because it was fun. I hope they realize that it was me trying to fit in, while also having fun.

lit'le - just like good people from Utah and Idaho, swallow the T

no' - the American O in "no" is too soft and it fades, becoming an "ah" sound. Think short and sweet, like Noh drama - but without the breathy-ness of the H. Make an actual O with your mouth, dagnabit!


Phrases

"Hold the phone" - I have actually heard a Scotsman say this, and it's not something that Mike Meyers merely makes up when he does the voice for Shrek. Basically American "wait a second".

"I cannae be bothered" - It's not worth the effort. This is a beautiful phrase which sums up a lot of Scottish attitudes towards getting work done.

"I dinnae ken" - I don't know.

Scottish homonyms, i.e. "Confusion for Foreigners"

"Do you ken the Ken I ken? Because the Ken I ken dinnae ken you." Because I want to drop this into this blog, see the American: "Buffalo buffaloes buffalo Buffalo buffaloes."