"I am an emotional, devotional,
incandotional, creature.
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl."
- Eva Ensler, I Am An Emotional Creature
"Incandontional." What a wonderful, whimsical, playful, poignant word.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Miffed
I'm miffed. I have run out of free space for photos on this blog. I think something tricky has gone down with my account. There is no way I'm going to pay for photos on my blog, so it's going to be a bit of time before I figure out how to get photos up again. But it will happen.
Monday, February 7, 2011
There is Bollywood Music: Revisited
I think my feelings are such that they cannot be contained and expressed by the soundtracks of Bollywood films, as they have been wont to do in the past. I'm so happy, the ideas and images Bollywood music presents to me seem shabby and worn-out.
I don't think life can get any better. Where I am, right now, is perfect. It is perfect in a way that is imperfect; conversely, the imperfections are what make it truly perfect. I miss my friends from Edinburgh, I miss being in Spain, but the emptiness left in me by being abroad is of such a delicious ilk that I cannot but help enjoy it. The separation I feel lets me know that I am alive, gives poignancy and depth to my happiness, solidifying it. I have my hopes and dreams, still, and now even more of them, and they're spiraling outwards and forwards.
My eye has been pronounced "healed," I was cast in a production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," I don't have to be alone unless I want it. I talked briefly with one of my favorite professors today in the dining hall about my experiences abroad and thesis - he said I should drop by office hours to talk more! I want him to be my thesis advisor and first reader, and I think this could be my opportunity to ask him about it!
I'm so happy, I almost can't contain my joy. So much of it is due to my religion, I feel. Thanks, Heavenly Father. Happy is what we're meant to be in this life, and even more so in the life to come - but I can't imagine being any more happy than I am right now.
I don't think life can get any better. Where I am, right now, is perfect. It is perfect in a way that is imperfect; conversely, the imperfections are what make it truly perfect. I miss my friends from Edinburgh, I miss being in Spain, but the emptiness left in me by being abroad is of such a delicious ilk that I cannot but help enjoy it. The separation I feel lets me know that I am alive, gives poignancy and depth to my happiness, solidifying it. I have my hopes and dreams, still, and now even more of them, and they're spiraling outwards and forwards.
My eye has been pronounced "healed," I was cast in a production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," I don't have to be alone unless I want it. I talked briefly with one of my favorite professors today in the dining hall about my experiences abroad and thesis - he said I should drop by office hours to talk more! I want him to be my thesis advisor and first reader, and I think this could be my opportunity to ask him about it!
I'm so happy, I almost can't contain my joy. So much of it is due to my religion, I feel. Thanks, Heavenly Father. Happy is what we're meant to be in this life, and even more so in the life to come - but I can't imagine being any more happy than I am right now.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Response: We Have a Problem
I have an inherent tension within me which only becomes more pronounced late at night. (Can you take a hint as to when I'm writing this?) I want to be of both proverbial "camps", both parties, both sides. I endorse what I just stated in "We Have a Problem," but I also believe that everyone should have their say, and that things are not perfect, but we should do our best to try and make it perfect anyway. What we term "perfection" today may be obsolete by tomorrow because our societal morals and intellectual fashions are constantly shifting.
Sometimes, you should not just shut up and watch the movie. You should incite your fellow movie-goers to riot in a popcorn-filled frenzy, spilling over the faux red velvet seats into the projection room. You should stop the film, being sure to preserve it carefully for posterity and future study in a gigantic underground archival vault, and then you should make your own movie which does a mediocre job at the Sundance Film Festival. After so much time and effort, you become disillusioned and then work as a river guide at Disneyland's Jungle Adventure ride to find solace, meaning, and personal connection in your life which you're not sure actually exist. The only thing you believe in anymore is Mickey Mouse; he is real. Consequently, the movie you didn't just shut up and watch in the first place was Steamboat Willie.
I'm not sure if I believe what I just wrote in the above paragraph. Your actions made no impact whatsoever. Switching to me and my narrative, I'm a dog chasing my tail - and I feel like I'm in good company with a lot of professors and intellectuals whose arguments are brilliant and well-articulated, but what's the overall point if you don't move anywhere?
My life could be an absurdist play. That is it; I'm living in a creation of Jean-Paul Sartre, who is in turn a creation of that little animator who sits at the corner desk in the back room under a fluorescent light, doodling on cardboard with a felt pen and mimicking the wails of Welsh alarm clocks.
Sometimes, you should not just shut up and watch the movie. You should incite your fellow movie-goers to riot in a popcorn-filled frenzy, spilling over the faux red velvet seats into the projection room. You should stop the film, being sure to preserve it carefully for posterity and future study in a gigantic underground archival vault, and then you should make your own movie which does a mediocre job at the Sundance Film Festival. After so much time and effort, you become disillusioned and then work as a river guide at Disneyland's Jungle Adventure ride to find solace, meaning, and personal connection in your life which you're not sure actually exist. The only thing you believe in anymore is Mickey Mouse; he is real. Consequently, the movie you didn't just shut up and watch in the first place was Steamboat Willie.
I'm not sure if I believe what I just wrote in the above paragraph. Your actions made no impact whatsoever. Switching to me and my narrative, I'm a dog chasing my tail - and I feel like I'm in good company with a lot of professors and intellectuals whose arguments are brilliant and well-articulated, but what's the overall point if you don't move anywhere?
My life could be an absurdist play. That is it; I'm living in a creation of Jean-Paul Sartre, who is in turn a creation of that little animator who sits at the corner desk in the back room under a fluorescent light, doodling on cardboard with a felt pen and mimicking the wails of Welsh alarm clocks.
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| This is a shovel. It is on top of a car. |
We Have a Problem...
I hate the word "problematic." I hate it almost as much as I hate pigeons (those dirty, disease-carrying, stupid, inbred balls of flying feathers). It is an incredibly useful word, but its usefulness contributes to its downfall. It is often used to describe and classify situations that are not ideal. However, it seems that "problematic" is applied to a situation in order to end the conversation about said topic while still having the last word, sounding educated, liberal, and dissatisfied without doing anything about it.
"Problematic" is applied all too liberally; everything, it seems, is problematic (although I believe there is some truth in this statement). I believe that nothing is perfect. There is room for improvement in a lot of things. However, that should not keep us from enjoying what we have and what we have access to.
Oh dear, I was far too general in my statements. Now I sound like an idiot crying in the dusty darkness. But even for all my vague statements and generalizations, sometimes people just need to shut up and watch the movie.
"Problematic" is applied all too liberally; everything, it seems, is problematic (although I believe there is some truth in this statement). I believe that nothing is perfect. There is room for improvement in a lot of things. However, that should not keep us from enjoying what we have and what we have access to.
Oh dear, I was far too general in my statements. Now I sound like an idiot crying in the dusty darkness. But even for all my vague statements and generalizations, sometimes people just need to shut up and watch the movie.
Life is pretty perfect sometimes. It always has been, and it always will be, in different ways. But never quite like this.
I'm back at college, as I believe I have said before, and things are moving forward. I feel like a new person, moving forward with renewed vigor, new interests, new life, while still retaining where I have been. Indeed, it has shaped me profoundly.
Some things I did:
I'm back at college, as I believe I have said before, and things are moving forward. I feel like a new person, moving forward with renewed vigor, new interests, new life, while still retaining where I have been. Indeed, it has shaped me profoundly.
Some things I did:
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